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| Photo submitted by Naomi Green on Flickr.com |
In my youth, it did not take me long to
become addicted to alcohol and illegal drugs. It was like love at first sight
for me. I grew up with family trauma mixed with fighting and struggled with being an
introvert (not knowing what that meant back then) along with having fears and
anxieties, and by using alcohol and drugs, it helped to mask the stresses from early life.
Overtime, alcohol
became my drug of choice mainly due to its cheap-high and accessibility. It got
to where I’d drink every day even in the mornings and before and after work when I
could hold down a job. At times, I’d call out to God for help, and even though, in my youth, I had moved away from God; nevertheless, God heard and answered my prayer in
the form of a co-worker, my sister, a counselor, a recovering addict, and
countless others God put in my path along the road to recovery and sobriety.
This is what happened:
While working as a waitress in a small restaurant, a cook was sentenced by a judge to thirty days in rehab for a DUI. When he came back to work, he was like a different person. He said that they helped him realize that he had a problem with alcohol and drugs, and he felt great, and wasn’t going to party anymore. I thought, "I want that!" Sometimes, all it takes is one person to make a difficult change and others follow. When I got home, I told my sister about it and said, "I want to go to rehab." At first, I thought she might be mad because I paid half the bills, but she was happily relieved and supportive and took charged of the situation calling different places to find one that would take me without having money to pay for it. My sister is a true friend, I could not have done it in my messed-up condition without her.
While working as a waitress in a small restaurant, a cook was sentenced by a judge to thirty days in rehab for a DUI. When he came back to work, he was like a different person. He said that they helped him realize that he had a problem with alcohol and drugs, and he felt great, and wasn’t going to party anymore. I thought, "I want that!" Sometimes, all it takes is one person to make a difficult change and others follow. When I got home, I told my sister about it and said, "I want to go to rehab." At first, I thought she might be mad because I paid half the bills, but she was happily relieved and supportive and took charged of the situation calling different places to find one that would take me without having money to pay for it. My sister is a true friend, I could not have done it in my messed-up condition without her.
She located a state treatment facility free of charge
to those who couldn’t afford it, and we went to speak to a counselor
about me entering the program, but she informed us of a waiting list to get
into the center. I left feeling discouraged and afraid that if I didn’t go
soon, I would lose my nerve and not go at all. The miracle happened the next day
when the counselor called and said that the person scheduled to be there never
showed, and if I wanted the available space, I had to go now. Although scared
and having second thoughts, I knew I had to go. I don’t know why the counselor
picked me over someone higher up on the waiting list except that God arranged
it.
I went to rehab that night. The only advice my family gave me was “Whatever you do, complete the program.” I spent thirty days in rehab, and, for the most part, it was like a vacation to me. We did activities such as hiking, watching movies, group therapy, counseling sessions, and AA meetings. A physician at the facility said that in the short span of my drinking, I had progressed to someone that had drank for many years, and recommended I spend an additional three months at a halfway house. I thought, "Yeah, I'll go," since rehab was like a vacation; I figured, the halfway house would be like that too, right? WRONG!!! To my dismay, it was anything but a vacation. We had to get a job right away and pay rent, there were a lot more rules, and the group therapy was more confrontational. I wanted out almost as soon as I got there, but I kept remembering my family’s advice, “complete the program,” so I unenthusiastically stuck with it. Looking back, I’m glad that I did if anything, it brought about more sobriety time, which is extremely important for those recovering from the devastating effects of alcohol and drug abuse. I don’t believe I would have stayed sober if I had left, and other vital support that was there for me would not have happened.
I went to rehab that night. The only advice my family gave me was “Whatever you do, complete the program.” I spent thirty days in rehab, and, for the most part, it was like a vacation to me. We did activities such as hiking, watching movies, group therapy, counseling sessions, and AA meetings. A physician at the facility said that in the short span of my drinking, I had progressed to someone that had drank for many years, and recommended I spend an additional three months at a halfway house. I thought, "Yeah, I'll go," since rehab was like a vacation; I figured, the halfway house would be like that too, right? WRONG!!! To my dismay, it was anything but a vacation. We had to get a job right away and pay rent, there were a lot more rules, and the group therapy was more confrontational. I wanted out almost as soon as I got there, but I kept remembering my family’s advice, “complete the program,” so I unenthusiastically stuck with it. Looking back, I’m glad that I did if anything, it brought about more sobriety time, which is extremely important for those recovering from the devastating effects of alcohol and drug abuse. I don’t believe I would have stayed sober if I had left, and other vital support that was there for me would not have happened.
After graduating from the program, I got my own apartment; even though, it was frowned upon by the staff at the halfway house to live alone due
to accountability issues, but sadly, the woman I was paired to room with relapsed
shortly before I graduated, so I had no choice. Nothing against her, but I was glad to be living alone; being an introvert, my mindset back then was that I just wanted to get away from all those b***hes (mainly, meaning the staff) at the halfway house. In spite of that, God
had his hand on the situation because at my dive apartment across the hall from me, lived a woman
who spent nine months at a different treatment facility for drug abuse, and, although, once again, my introvert personality resisted, but, due to her persistence, we became friends. She was strong in her sobriety and that made me strong. Once I asked her, “If she thought about using again,” and she said,
“It scares me to hear you say that because I’m afraid you’ll start using
again.” Well, that scared me, and I never said it again!
After being neighbors and friends for a couple of years, she
moved back to her home state, but, by then, I was strong enough in my sobriety
to be alone. Going through treatment was not a cure all; believe me, I have struggled with an addictive personality most of my adult life, but what it did
for me was give me a foothold again to where I could start building a life. It
also dried me out and cleared my mind enough to hear a good gospel message of
salvation, in which, I responded by repenting of my sins and receiving Jesus as
my Lord and Savior.
Not long after that, Jesus started working on delivering me from other addictions, imbalances, and habits. Like many who suffer from an addictive
personality, we tend to attach it on to other things; thankfully, God
accepts us as we are, but loves us too much to leave us that way.
Looking back on the experience, I learned that love is an action
verb; I can see God's love in action in the form of the people God
brought into my life to help bring about much needed deliverance and healing.
When entering treatment, the best advice came from my family, as mentioned above, they said, “Whatever you do, complete the program.” That is what I tell others, "Complete the program even if you don’t want to that is the best thing you can do for yourself and loved ones," and, I add,
"Hang around people that are strong in their sobriety because that will
help make you strong."
I want to end this post with a prayer. This pretty much sums up how God 's love answered my prayer.
O, God, I pray for all those suffering from addictions that
you would give them the desire and will to be free and the grace to continue
in the right way and send all the right people along their paths that would help lead them in a
better way, and, in turn, draw them closer to you in Jesus name. Amen.