Off on an Advanture

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After the stressful experience of quitting my job due to an unhealthy out-of-balance work-life described in my previous post, I badly needed a break to recover and think about what to do with my life. What made the need for a break difficult was that I, being a single woman, had responsibilities such as a mortgage and bills. My family gave me moral support, but they could not give me financial support. 

In being fearful of not having an income, I lined up a new job that didn't start for a month of leaving my old one, which gave me a little break anyway; nonetheless, I was sad about working there because it was the same old stuff just a different place. 

One day as I was watering my front lawn and sadly thinking about the new job start date approaching, I solemnly said to God, "If this new job were to fall through, I wouldn't mind a bit." Then, all of a sudden, it fell through! I shockingly said, "Lord, I was joking; you took me too seriously!" The company informed me that they took back the job offer because I failed the drug test. I was afraid of that; being stressed out at work, and not knowing about the test, I had taken a Xanax that didn't belong to me a few weeks earlier. Worried that it might show up, I tried washing it out by drinking lots of water, but apparently, Xanax can stay in your system for a long time. 

No worries! Being an employable person, I then tried working part-time, and thought maybe I could get a rest that way while still having some money coming in; but in reality, part-time really meant full-time but with fewer benefits. Plus, it was still along the same line of work I was used to and wanted to get out of. 

So, I decided to make some drastic changes, and mentioned to family members that I was selling my townhome and car to do something different; they said, with a shocked look on their faces, "Good luck with that!”

After the sale of my property and possessions, I went out of state for a year to rest and visit my two sisters. It became clear to me after much soul searching and prayer that if I wanted to do something different, I had to go back to school. Around the same time, my brother, who is single, bought a house back home and invited me to live there while attending school, and he would keep my rent low. It was official! My overhead was low enough to go off on an adventure along paths of discovery and learning by returning to school after many years.

However, school was anything but an adventure. I started out as a full-time student, but the workload became too much that I wasn’t learning anything; I was just trying to keep up. I had not studied in years; in fact, I barely remember cracking open a textbook back then. Plus, I was still recovering from an emotionally drained past work-life. I began dropping, skipping, and retaking classes, and after a few semesters, I was ready to give up until one morning as I prayerfully contemplated my options. I realized that there was no other door open for me, and if I did not take school more seriously, it was back to the same old, same old, again. That was the motivation I needed to stay in school, so, instead of waking up in the morning thinking about skipping classes, I'd wake up proclaiming, "I'm excited to go to school today!"

I looked for a school-life balance that worked for me. Since I was neither in a hurry, nor at full capacity health wise, I decided to cut back on classes and go at my own pace. I became more focused and engaged in what I was doing, I stopped skipping classes and taking short cuts on studying and just did the work, and, in doing so, school had become more enjoyable, educational, and adventurous.

Additionally, attending school has made me a more balanced person mainly due to the fact that I have always had work experience, but little school experience. It also brought about more healing and peace into my life because I have a better understanding of how the world works. Moreover, Communication is my major and one of my weak areas; therefore, it helped balance my introvert personality since there is much public speaking.

Most importantly, I discovered a pattern of how God works; it is The Basic Law of Life: For everything you get in life, you also have to give up something. Every time I give up something with God’s guidance and help, I get something better in return. I could not have gone back to school with a demanding job, the upkeep of a home, and the expenses I had.

People ask me, “What are you going to do with your degree?” I tell them that I don’t want a company job anymore; I feel like I already had my 15 minutes of fame. I want to do something more rewarding and fulfilling such as help in my community in some way. In addition, I tell them that school is personally enhancing.

If you are not sure what to do with your life or you are stuck in a line of work that you can't get out of, then, school is the best place for you even if you are older, like me, when you go back. Higher education is for everyone!

 

A Work-Life Balance Became So Important That I Quit My Job

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Work-Life Out of Balance

In the corporate world, I had a job that I loved. My title was Accounting Specialist, and it was totally suited for my introvert personality because I could spend the day fairly much alone in my cubicle doing figure work. That was probably why I excelled at my job so quickly. 

In addition to my regular work hours, there was always plenty of overtime, and I never called in sick. When I did take time off, I often received phone calls during the day or night to help with balancing problems. That was how dedicated I was to my job, I wanted to retire working at that company, or, so, I thought.

Mini Prophecy

One day while at work, I was thinking about how much I loved my job, and then, all of a sudden, I had what I call a mini prophecy. It started out as an eyelid flutter that got my attention, and, as I rubbed it out, a still small voice within me said, “Don’t love it too much because it's not going to last.” I thought that was weird and shrugged it off because there was no way I was not going to love my job. Nevertheless, I pondered that event every now and then wondering about it.

Mini Prophecy Fulfilled

Sometime later, new management took over in our area with one manager in particular that stood out. He was loud, rude, and arrogant with a continuous entourage of men surrounding him wherever he went, when you'd talked to him, it was always to his back as he walked off from you, and you could always hear him say to someone around the office, “You are only as good as your last project.” 

Also, among the new management team were a group of partying managers that favored the partying employed; the atmosphere became politically toxic more so than normal that I started noticing how badly some of the bosses were treating some employees, and, I thought, “Hmm, if they can do that to them, they can do that to me.” That got me thinking that maybe my loyalties were misplaced.

Around the same time, the long and crazy hours were taking its toll on me. I felt burned out and fatigued, and a sense of uneasiness settled in. That sense of uneasiness was persistent. No matter how many times I gave myself a pep-talk about how everything is good, I love my job, don't worry, be happy, quit complaining, that sense of uneasiness would settle back in.

I started desiring a work-life balance, but the usual tips for one such as prioritize, learn to say no, don’t answer the phone, stop being the hero, were not going to work for me; since, I was always there when the company needed me, that's what they expected. I had to make a clean break; a work-life balance became so important that I quit my job.

Call for Change

After being away from the situation for a while, I believe that the persistent uneasiness I experienced during the last several years at my job was guidance from the Holy Spirit to make a change.

Words of Advice

If you are experiencing a work-life crisis, quiet down, be alert and awake, and listen for the invitations of your Inner Guide. Sometimes they may come in the form of a nudge, or a yearning, or a longing, or a stirring, or like me, a sense of uneasiness. They are calls for us to step out and to be our best.  

Lessons Learned

In my life, it seems I have always taken things to the extreme, and a job that I really loved was no different, but now, a job is not my life anymore, and time spent with God, nature, family, friends, pets, or alone are just as important if not more.  I remember once mentioning to a Pastor that I could not regularly attend Sunday church services due to work, and he said, “Maybe you should find a new job.” I was somewhat put off by his response because he didn't know my situation, but in hindsight, he was right; I just wasn't ready to receive it. 

Starting Over

Off on an Adventure is the title of my next post! I will explain how I moved on from the crushing blow of an out-of-balance work-life, and the end of my job of many years to move into a new direction, which brought about needed balances in other areas as well.