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Unexpectedly and with no
apparent reason many dark thoughts rose up within me. Like a procession marching past one by one a thought of sadness, shame, hurt, betrayal, self-pity, regret, resentment,
bitterness, disappointment, anger, all vying for my attention and trying to get
me to grab hold of them. It wasn’t me anymore, it was them bombarding me, and as
I observed them with my mind’s eye, Psalm 57.1 came to my remembrance. It reads, “Be
merciful to me, O God; be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in
the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, until the destroying storms pass
by (NRSV)." The destroying storms are the dark thoughts, and I would picture myself
taking refuge in the shadow of God’s wings until they'd pass by.
In a similar
way, many fearful thoughts occurred within me as the Corona Virus or Covid-19 started to take hold in the
world and in our country. At first, I didn’t take it that seriously and when
asked about it, I would dismissively say, “I’m not worried; I just put myself in
God’s hands,” but as more came out about it, and the death toll rose, and
businesses shut down, thoughts of worry, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, distress, panic, uneasiness, anger, attacked me. As I frantically looked for a way out,
once again, Psalm 57.1 came to my remembrance, and I most assuredly repeated, “in
the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, until the destroying storms (fearful thoughts/pandemic) pass by,” and my soul rested.